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5 #LifeLessons from #TheBachelorette on How to Be a Better Human

Wherever you stand on Season 11’s sexploits, drunken tirades, and interloping past contestants, The Bachelorette @BacheloretteABC delivered surprisingly deep wisdom about relationships:

1. Do Make Humor a Priority

Bachelorette Kaitlyn’s @KaitlynBristowe most endearing quality is her sense of humor and insistence on a future husband who values laughter. Laughter could prove useful for relaxing muscles and lowering blood pressure during tense rose ceremonies but conveys other benefits like triggering endorphins, lowering blood sugar, and burning calories. The dentist @ChrisStrandburg who drove up in a candy-corn topped cupcake and later laughed through his tears—yeah, he’s a keeper.

2. Don't Bear False Witness

Gossiping about or airing your dislike of others makes you look like a gossip, a tattle-tale, or, even worse, a liar. Contestant Joshua burned with resentment against Nick @viallnicholas28 who inserted himself in the competition weeks after the show started. Joshua aired his doubts about Nick’s sincerity to the other guys and to Kaitlyn. When Kaitlyn questioned the competitors, they went silent and didn’t back up Joshua’s accusations, making him look like a chump, even though he otherwise seems to be a nice guy.

Complaining or gossiping about others speaks volumes—about you and your character.

3. Don't Brag

Quiet confidence is seductive. Just ask Nick, who swallowed his pride and broke the show’s “rules” by seeking out the woman he cared about. The risk paid off when Kaitlyn gave him rose after rose. Bragging about your six-pack, your Princeton degree, or your skill at using big words is a cue for the rest of the world to roll their eyes and try to prove you wrong.

4. Do Take a Breathtaking Trip with Your Honey

When you’re in a helicopter flying over a canyon or sailing off the coast of a tropical island, it’s easy to fall in love with the person who’s experiencing the adventure with you. Taking a trip with someone—seeing them in the majestic light a cathedral in Ireland, holding them close as you bungee jump in tandem, or talking under the stars after you’ve been swimming in a lagoon—can spark or rekindle a romance.

5. Do Be Gracious and Kind When Dumped, Even If It Kills You

A contestant’s exit strategy can be as important as his first introduction to the bachelorette outside of the limo. When Kaitlyn did not give them a rose, Jared @haibon_jared and Ben @BenHiggi demonstrated that being unselfish and vulnerable are more appealing than cursing (Joe) and hurling insults (Ian). It may garner attention initially, but, when the show has aired, the contestants have to answer for their misdeeds to family members, employers, and friends.

Even after their rejection, chivalrous Jared offered Kaitlyn his coat and Ben told her how great she looked and had only sweet things to say about the woman who broke their hearts. Being compassionate instead of lashing out in anger is a response that doesn’t come naturally to most of us, but is a worthy goal. Gentlemen like that become tomorrow’s most eligible bachelors.

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Connie Kuykendall

Author, Attorney, Curled Crusader

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